you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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