you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
