Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize