Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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