no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
