I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize