No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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