So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
