I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
