okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
