I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
