WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
