Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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