i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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