thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
