47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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