Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
