I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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