Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
