Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
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she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
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At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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