You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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