WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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