It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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