rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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