I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize