Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Lo siento on account of my penis...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize