Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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