Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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