I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
