Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
