dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
