this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
