Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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