HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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