Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
