the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
