oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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