Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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