Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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