piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
