Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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