i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
How does one acquire holy water?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
