i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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