If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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