You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
