Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
