South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
