sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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