I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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