I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
