i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
