You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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