bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
