Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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