We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
