That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
