it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
