nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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